I Pine for Brine
by BigBlockMiner64
Summary: A tale of love, lust, and deceit. Steve, a scrappy yet sexy castaway, meets a mysterious man who looks just like him. It's love at first sight, but the forces of the world are against them. Villagers, pillagers, the powers of Notch, and the mysteries above the Nether are all explored in this gripping romance for the ages.


Steve awoke with a jolt, and cautiously surveyed his surroundings. His head darted back and forth, looking for something he could recognize. There was nothing. No trace of civilization. Only trees and flowers. Suddenly, something moaned behind him. Steve's rectangular eyes widened into squares. A human corpse was shambling towards him. Steve ran deep into the woods. Panicking, he looked for a weapon. He saw nothing obvious. Steve raised a rough, masculine hand and began punching a tree. Sweat glistened on the flat plane of steve's forehead. His smooth, rugged face took on an expression of intrepid focus. Steve gathered the wood from the tree and continued running towards a nearby mountain, The zombie was gone by now, but he could use the wood to make tools. As he made his way out of the forest and up the rocky base of the mountain, he saw a figure in the distance.

Getting closer, he realized that the man wasn't standing on the ground- he was hovering above it. There was also something about his pose. He was enticingly still- sexily stoic. His eyes were intoxicating. They were a deep white, and they gave off a subtle, titillating glow. Steve felt like his sapling had been clicked with bone meal. The pixels in his face reddened. The man in the cave noticed him, and coyly floated away.

Steve chased after him, but it was no use. He made his way further up the mountain and settled in a cave. Trying to work but feeling exhausted, he decided to build a bed and get some sleep. All night he dreamed of that strapping mystery man. Would he ever see him again? When? It would be sooner than he could have guessed.

When Steve awoke, the man was standing over him. The morning light glinted on the corners of his head. Seeing him up close, steve noticed they looked almost exactly alike, but there was something about how the man carried himself that set him apart. Steve was blocky, the man was hunky.

"H-hello" said the mystery man, "I saw you yesterday, but I was nervous to say hi." He spoke timidly, but his voice was almost otherworldly deep.

"Hello" said Steve, nervous, but intrigued.

"What's your name?"

"Steve"

"Steve… I like it. It's simple, but sort of robust. I'm Herobrine."

The name rang pleasantly in steve's cube brain. It was as enticingly mysterious as the man it belonged to.

"Steve, when I saw you yesterday, you had wood"

Steve blushed. Had he really noticed? Steve let out a sigh of amused relief when he remembered the logs he had been carrying out of the woods.

"Oh, yes. I'm building a house."

"Could I maybe help you? I-I'm a very good builder"

Over the next few months, Steve and Herobrine built a farm. They spent long workdays building and long evenings in pleasant conversation. Steve liked to watch the voluptuous prisms of Herobrine's body move as he mined stone and stripped logs. The two became increasingly close, and a passion built up in their shared glances. One autumn morning, Steve and Herobrine sat together feeding cows. Steve watched the hearts appear over their heads and flutter capriciously into the air. Herobrine turned to Steve and smiled. His eyes were glowing alluringly.

"Steve, there's something I want to show you."

Steve and Herobrine travelled far out into the woods. They walked deeper and deeper into the thick brush until they came upon a small clearing in front of a short stone cliff. On the ground was a smooth stone platform, and In the middle was a well. Herobrine dropped a bar of gold into the water, and a door opened in the cliff. Steve grabbed Herobrine's hand, and they walked through. They came out onto an overlook above a river. Across from them was another cliff, but there was a towering visage carved into its side. It was the face of a wise looking bald man with a beard, carved in dirt and stone. It was massive. The spectacle overwhelmed Steve.

"I-It's beautiful." He was so awestricken he could barely get out the words. Herobrine shushed him softly. There was fear in his face. The statue opened its eyes. Herobrine stood in suspense. For a second, he looked terrified. Then, the statue winked. Herobrine smiled, then laughed. "He approves." he said, "He approves!" Gold and jewels rained down on them from above. Herobrine stood in amorous anticipation. His mouth was slightly agape and he let out a sensual, shaking breath. He was still for a moment, then he leaned in. Steve embraced him. Their flat faces pressed firmly together in a kiss. Steve felt the flicker of Herobrine's tongue on his lips. It felt like TNT was igniting in his heart. "Wait" Steve pulled back. "What is it?" asked Herobrine, looking at him bashfully and biting his lip slightly. Steve took two wheat out of his inventory. "Oh, Steve" The name danced on his tongue. Herobrine took the wheat and ate it down with lustful vigor. Plump hearts appeared above him and lilted into the air. Steve savored his wheat, feeling the hearts erupt from him. The two embraced again, and rolled onto the ground. The coquettish light of Herobrine's eyes illuminated the grass around them. Steve moved like a piston in a repeating circuit. The light in Herobrine's eyes grew brighter, and the two began to hover in the air. Finally, Steve's crossbow fired. There was an explosion of white light, and the two floated softly to the ground. After a few more seconds of carnal bliss, they rolled apart, and a baby apparated between them.

In a few hours, the baby was fully grown. They named him Markus Steve-Obrine, the first name taken from Herobrine's brother. Steve-Obrine looked almost identical to both Steve and Herobrine. One of his eyes looked like Steve's, the other glowed white like Herobrine's. He stayed with Steve and Herobrine for a while, but he eventually decided to go out on his own.

For almost a year, Steve and Herobrine lived in quiet contentedness on their farm. In the cold winter evenings, they would sit in the living room around a block of flaming netherrack. Sometimes, Steve would put a music disc in their jukebox, and they would dance late into the night. Steve wasn't a very good dancer, but Herobrine made him feel like one. He was patient and intimate, and his smile was even brighter than his glowing eyes. Steve loved him. He truly did. But, even this love could not keep him resolute in the face of desire.

Steve had made a habit of going to a nearby village on the weekends to trade. At first, his trips were short. He would exchange greetings, sell the products from his farm, pick up a few things, and return home to Herobrine. Then Steve met Librarian. He was magnificent. His exotic red garb conjured amorous associations in steve's mind. His striking brow accentuated his expressions and drew Steve into his deep green eyes. His nose, a sweet pendulum of flesh, wobbled and swung when he spoke. And his voice, oh his voice, it was nasal, but it resonated deep within him. A sultry, penetrating "Hrrrrrrmmm". Steve began to visit the library for long stretches of time. He told himself it was for the books, but he knew it wasn't. Steve's lust was growing like a chorus flower on endstone. Finally, Steve submitted to his carnal urges.

"Hey"

"Hrrrrrrrrrmmm"

Steve was disarmed. He hadn't expected such a forward greeting. He thought of Herobrine back at home, but he couldn't help himself. He banished the guilt to the corner of his mind and proceeded.

"I've noticed you in the village. You really are quite a charmer. I mean… th-that nose"

Librarian flicked it. It swayed like a spruce tree in the mountain wind.

"M-may I touch it?"

"Hrrrrrmm"

Steve took a tentative step towards Librarian. He put his hand on his nose. It was rough and warm, like the potatoes he baked with Herobrine. Steve withdrew his hand and turned away.

"This isn't right" he said softly

"Hrrrrmmm"

Oh, his silver tongued flirtation, Steve couldn't resist. He grabbed Librarian's nose and began to massage it. Librarian let out a euphoric "Hrrrrrmmm". They fell back against a wall of bookshelves, knocking a few out onto the floor. They slid down and copulated wildly amongst them, Steve fervently kissing Librarian's nose. What would Herobrine think of this? In the moment it didn't matter. Steve ran his fingers through Librarian's eyebrow. He snogged his nose voraciously, pulling it into his mouth. The thought wouldn't leave him- What would Herobrine think of this? Maybe he would never find out.

He did. When Steve returned home the next morning, Herobrine was hovering solemnly. Steve could tell he knew what had happened, though they hadn't exchanged a word.

"What's wrong?" Steve asked, swallowing his guilt. It felt like a melon was lodged in his throat.

Herobrine said nothing. He shook his head and slowly floated backwards. His face was calm, but the glow in his eyes was dim. Steve felt held back tears. Herobrine began to vanish. It started at his feet and hands and crawled up his body. The whole while he kept shaking his head. It was as if Steve mined up into an underground lake- tears flowed out of him uncontrollably and dripped down into the dirt. Steve cried long into the night.

Steve awakened to the smell of smoke. He was not in his room. Steve turned around and was shocked. His farm was ablaze. Thick, black smoke billowed into the air. The cattle he raised with Herobrine laid slaughtered in a pile. Their blood stained the grass and ran into the irrigation trenches of his now trampled wheat field. A silhouette appeared in the haze, then several. They looked like villagers, but their skin was a bluish grey. A man stepped out from amongst their ranks. It was Steve-Obrine. He wore leather armor dyed black. There was spite in his eyes.

"I know what you did!" He leered at Steve and spit at his feet. He was furious. "I'm letting you live because the gods revile the shedding of shared blood. Don't mistake this for mercy. I want you to suffer."

"St-Steve-Obrine, I can explain." Steve stuttered, but it was no use. His rage only grew. "Explain? Wherefore?" Steve-Obrine pried open his glowing eye "It's of no use. I saw it all!"

Steve shook in fear. Steve-Obrine leaned over him.

"Father, what's wrong?" he spoke plainly.

"What father?" sneered a man in the ranks. The others laughed rowdily. A smile flashed across Steve-Obrine's lips.

"What father indeed? I surely see none here!" he shouted, almost playfully "Maybe father to silverfish that hide ashamedly in the shadowy depths of execrated caves, maybe father to the fungus that festers in the darkest corners of the nether, but certainly, most certainly, no father of mine!". The men cheered behind him. Steve-Obrine bent down, his face a few pixels from Steve's. The boisterous warmth of his mockery had faded from his face, leaving only bitter revulsion. "Now," he spoke softly, "Take me to whatever vile strumpet by which you made a cuckold of my father."

A tear rolled across Steve's face and formed a bead on the corner of his cubic head.

"No." he said resolutely, pushing out the syllable like a dying breath.

"Very well." smiled Steve-Obrine, completely unphased. He and his men calmly departed, leaving Steve in a sputtering heap on the ground.

Librarian flicked through the leather spines on the shelf, finding the proper place for each fallen tome. As he worked, he wasn't bored or unhappy. He was lost in the memory of the man who had knocked them down. Finishing his task, librarian departed for the village market to order food. Halfway there, he stopped in his tracks. There was Steve, in the distance. He was wearing black armor. Librarian watched as he drew a sword and-

No. this was not Steve. It couldn't be. The man in the distance was killing villagers indiscriminately- cutting through them like a farmer harvesting sugarcane. Blood mixed with dirt, creating a horrible sludge. Librarian ran, but pillagers stood at the edges of the village. There was no hope. Librarian fell to his knees and waited in awful anticipation as they loaded their crossbows. It felt like an eternity. He heard the meaty thunk of the arrow before he felt it. Rapidly, six more ripped into his flesh. "Hrrrrrrrmmmmm." he cried softly as his life turned to nothing like water in the nether.

As Steve neared the village, he knew it was too late. He could hear a distant wail echo through the forest, and a plume of dark smoke drifted up over the horizon. The chunks were past his render distance, but he couldn't bear to get close enough to see them. He rubbed his eyes with his unwieldy rectangular hand. Tears cascaded from them like falling diamonds. What had he done?

In the months following, Steve threw away his possessions and secluded himself high in the mountains, in a small hut. The ghastly memories flew after him like phantoms, but with time and meditation he made peace with them.

One thing he could not shake was his longing for Herobrine. Prudently, he left his hut and looked for a village. He found one a short ways away. Steve entered the library. Memories rushed back. The librarian here looked exactly like Librarian, save for the different colored robes. Steve kept himself collected. He was only here for books. Once a week, Steve would visit the library, checking out a stack of books to read in the solitude of his new home. He read of distant underwater temples, of fearsome creatures made of sand and skulls, of a lost race phase through space and speak in cryptic tongues. Finally, after much time searching, he read of Herobrine.

Steve discovered a method of summoning Herobrine. It wouldn't be easy, but his unyielding love would give him the resolve to endure the hard labor. Steve worked for days on end in claustrophobic mineshafts, mining until his pickaxe broke and his shoulders ached. He journeyed to the barren expanse of the nether, fighting the blistering heat and braving the perilous terrain. He collected molten lava from deep in the earth, transporting it to the surface in small but scorching bucketfuls. Finally, bruised and burned and bereaved, his work was done.

It was a glowing spring morning. Sunbeams stretched out with an enderman's reach. Dew glistened on the grass like ore in a mine. Steve stood readily, his hot bar filled with supplies. He placed the blocks carefully- soulsand, netherrack, a ring of gold around them, a blazing trench of lava- it was all coming together. He placed redstone torches on the shrine, saying a short prayer to notch with each one. Steve let out a slow, quivering breath as he lit the netherrack. All was still for a moment. Nothing seemed to be happening. Steve grew tense. This had to work. What else could he do. Then, Steve heard something- some soft murmur. It started to get louder, a constant whispering all around him. "uppstå, min bror", it said "vakna, min spöklika bror, för altaret kallar dig". Steve felt his lips starting to form the syllables in tandem with the voice. He began to speak them aloud, not by his own will but by some other incomprehensible power. Thick fog rose from the lava and began to fill the air. Steve couldn't even see the flint and Steel in his hand. Suddenly, two lights pierced through the murky haze- Herobrine. The lights grew closer, and the fog began to swirl and dissipate. Finally, Steve could see him. His clothes were pure white, and his eyes were brighter than Steve had ever seen them. As he got closer, all the hair on Steve's body stood on end. Steve began to speak meekly, "H-Herobrine, I'm sorry about-". Herobrine put a blocky finger to his lips.

"It's okay", Herobrine consoled him. His voice was soft, but it carried immense authority. As he spoke, the whisper echoed him: "det är okej". Before Steve could get out another word, Herobrine kissed him. Steve's toes curled in his shoes. His body tensed, then relaxed. The warmth of Herobrine's kiss flowed through him like a river of lava. Steve's lips, still moving in a sensual caress with Herobrine's, formed a smile.

Steve and Herobrine picked up exactly where they left off. Their love overcame all past events which could have tested it. The two became inseparable. In the daytime they worked, talked, explored, and did all manner of other things. It didn't matter where they were. It didn't matter what they were doing. It only mattered that they were together. In the nighttime, their passions left the realm of abstract thought and became physical- carnal expressions of passion, sensual consecrations of the flesh. These actions so deeply and transcendentally fulfilled Steve and Herobrine that stopping them in the morning felt like blocking a lava flow with wood planks. As they walked through crowded villages or dense forests they saw only each other, exchanging glances of shared emotion and desire.

As the months passed, Steve saw a growing sadness in Herobrine's glowing eyes. One night, Steve decided to approach him. He was sitting on the deck of their mountain home, absentmindedly flicking a trapdoor open and closed. He stared into the sky dejectedly. Steve put his hand on Herobrine's shoulder.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Steve."

"We both know that's not true. Come on, you can tell me"

"I'm just… homesick, I guess."

Steve was taken aback. In all their time together, Herobrine had never mentioned his home.

"We should go there.", Steve proposed innocently.

"You don't understand", there was a great sadness in Herobrine's eyes "If you went there, you could never come back. Steve sat in solemn contemplation. He thought of all the things he would miss- the home he'd worked so hard to build, the temple of notch in its infinite majesty- it would be hard to live without them. Then he thought about Steve-Obrine, the ashes of his farm, the tears that flowed till his face was red, and the bloody corpse of Librarian he hadn't had the heart to see.

"I'll go", Steve said gravely. Herobrine massaged his broad rectangular shoulders.

"Baby, are you sure about this?" he asked nervously. Steve was confident and determined.

"I'm sure. I want to go."

Steve and Herobrine ventured deep into the nether until they came upon a vast lake of lava. Herobrine turned to Steve and wiped sweatt off his blocky brow. "Steve, you have to trust me.", he said firmly. Steve gave a slight but unmistakable nod. He was scared. Herobrine wrapped his arms around Steve tightly. Steve's fear vanished in the protective embrace of this guardian angel. Herobrine would keep him safe. Herobrine hovered over the lava carrying Steve in a secure yet tender embrace. After what felt like hours of travel, they came to an island. As soon as Steve's feet touched the ground, he turned around and kissed Herobrine. They stood for a moment, then continued their pilgrimage. After some time, they reached their destination. A gigantic quartz pillar stretched from the ground to the top of the nether. Its base was a massive statue of herobrine's head. Herobrine approached it and stood with his arms outstretched. The statues eyes began to glow, and its mouth opened.

"Okay Steve", said Herobrine somberly, "there's no going back after this."

Steve said nothing, but he understood. The two held hands as they walked into the center of the pillar. The interior glowed the same white light as Herobrine's eyes.

When Steve and Herobrine reached the centermost part of the pillar, they were lifted off their feet. They floated upwards a great length, then they reached it- the top of the nether. This was the only way to get above the ceiling. The two were lifted a ways above the bedrock. Herobrine carried Steve gently to it. This was it, his new home.

"We call this realm the medial" said Herobrine, "It sits between the overworld and the nether. Few come hear and none leave, with the exception of myself."

Steve looked around him. It was like nothing he had ever seen before. There were structures made with all manner of mystical techniques- vertical slabs, rounded edges, angles and wedges, ceilings made of sand. There were animals, but their eyes glowed white like Herobrine's, and they hovered a few pixels above the ground. Chickens were nowhere to be found, but in their place were ducks. Steve halted his awestricken observation and thought back to what Herobrine had said.

"B-babe, when you said we…"

"Steve, I'd like to introduce you to some of my friends."

Herobrine lead Steve to a building made of blocks with a strange magenta and black checkered pattern. Inside was a bustling communion of mysterious figures. Herobrine walked in first, and he was greeted with fraternal warmth. Steve was nervous, but this welcoming atmosphere extended to him to. A man approached him. Steve shook his hand, and to his surprise, the man pulled him into a hug.

"Steve! We've heard so much about you! Hell, we can hardly shut him up." He nudged Herobrine playfully.

"I'm Green Steve. I'm an old friend of Herobrine's."

Green Steve looked almost exactly like Steve, but his entire body was an almost translucent green. While he said he and Herobrine were just friends, Steve got the sense there was something more going on. There was an air of spite in the way Green Steve looked at him. Steve told himself he was being irrational. After all, Green Steve had been very polite. Steve sat next to Herobrine at a long table. One of the men, a shadowy figure in a white robe, placed a cake in front of him.

"Welcome to the medial" the man told him in a ghostly whisper.

Steve later found out this was Entity 303, one of Herobrine's childhood friends. Over the course of the night, Steve met the rest of Herobrine's friends. First was Null, a strapping young bachelor with skin as black as a starless midnight. Later he met Evets, a kind wallflower who looked like Steve with inverted colors. A swaggering playboy named Killager arrived fashionably late. He looked like a villager with black clothing and hyper realistic bloody eyes. Finally, much later into the night, he met Farman, who had made the long trip from his home in the farlands when he heard Steve was there. Farman's face and body were a deep black, but his eyes glowed bright red. The whole lot laughed and drank and sang into the night.

Before Steve left, Green Steve pulled him aside. He looked friendly at first, but something sinister showed through in his virescent face.

"G-green Steve, what's this about?" Steve stammered.

Green Steve laughed, his eau de Nil teeth showing behind his parting lips. The monochromatic malcontent raised a rectangular arm and patted Steve on the back.

Steve looked around himself in desperate confusion. The instant Green Steve touched him, he had been teleported to a small bedrock room. Green Steve appeared before him. His emerald eyes flashed with intense spite.

"Steve, who do you think you are?" glaucous saliva flew from his mouth as he talked "You think Herobrine loves you? Herobrine is Notch's brother, Steve. He's basically a god. You're nobody Steve. You're nobody. And no one will care when I rid this cubic earth of your mortal burden."

Green Steve had initially just looked mad, but now there was a sadness in his face as well. There was more blue to his green. Still, he was fanatically committed to enacting his wrath. He lifted his arms high into the air, and the walls of the bedrock chamber rose, revealing hallways filled with creepers. Green Steve's eyes lit up bright viridian, and a cobalt colored bubble appeared around him.

The creepers approached Steve, crawling in unison. Their horrible limbs scuttled across the hard stone floor. They squished down and began hissing. Steve closed his eyes and prepared for his inescapable fate. A flash of light showed through his eyelids. He lifted them, surprised to find himself unharmed. Gunpowder slowly spun on the floor all around him. Experience orbs slid and floated through the air. Steve's eyes followed them. They were floating to Herobrine.

"Herobrine, I can explain!" Green Steve pleaded. Herobrine shushed him, his eyes glowing with power.

"Jealousy. Ugly, despicable jealousy. I'm ashamed of you Green Steve. I thought you had moved on."

"Herobrine, I don't understand. What do you see in him? He's just a mortal."

"He's so much more. Steve is caring. He's compassionate. He's reliable. You were none of those. I'm ashamed of you, Green Steve. It's been years."

"I love you Herobrine. I've loved you this whole time."

"I loved you once, Green Steve, but you never loved me. You loved my body, you loved my power, but you never loved me. Steve loves me."

Herobrine teleported himself and Steve back to the Medial. Wishing to avoid the fallout of what had just transpired, they walked to Herobrine's home. It was a lovely cottage bordering a lake. Steve imagined himself and Herobrine bathing in it together. Maybe someday there would be another kid. He could play in the yard and bask in the glowstone light. It was perfectly serene. Steve looked to Herobrine soulfully. They kissed.

When they entered the house, Steve walked straight to the bedroom. This was it. He could finally place his bed next to Herobrine's. It would finally be official. Smiling with loving contentedness, he clicked to set his spawn.

No. How could they have forgotten? After all the obstacles they faced and triumphed over? It was forbidden for a player to set spawn outside of the overworld. Flames leapt from the bed, hot as the lovers' passion. Steve's final word was "Herobrine".


End file.
